self-de·vel·op·ment
noun
noun: self-development; plural noun: self-developments
1. the process in which a person grows or changes and becomes more advanced through their own efforts.
HELP YOURSELF
No resource would be complete without providing guidance that you, in turn, could enact yourself. Within the boundaries of a personality disorder, a person is limited to the amount of change that they could hope to affect. This, at least, is how things currently stand. With our limited understanding of the brain and a relatively small pool of OCPD research to pull from, our strong recommendation is that you seek out the assistance of mental health professionals. However, this is not always possible, and this is the exact situation this article hopes to address.
Around the world, there are many reasons why one might have limited access to traditional treatment methods. The costs associated with therapy may alone be enough of a deterrent. It is a sad reality that economic reasons prevent many who need help from getting that help. With a disorder such as OCPD, where not nearly enough research has been done up to this point, it is not uncommon to struggle to find therapists with direct experience with the disorder. One other common hurdle is the societal stigmas that some cultures put on therapy. For these reasons and many others, it is important that we are given tools with which we can hope to bring about inner change.
Although there has been research demonstrating the positive effects of therapy on patients with OCPD, there are currently no known medications to treat OCPD or OCPD symptoms and traits. This is important to know, as you may feel as though if you’re unable to access professional help, you may think that you are also missing out on the potential medicinal benefits that can come with access to professional treatment. At this time, however, that is simply not the case.
What can I expect?
When embarking on the challenging journey of self-correction, it’s important to weigh the benefits. There will be times in which you feel overwhelmed, stressed & downtrodden. In these moments, it’s the possibility of what’s to come that can inspire us to keep on fighting the good fight. Those with OCPD will be prone to wanting specifics in terms of what they can hope to expect. For this reason, it is important to not only provide hope but to also be grounded in reality. Personality disorders are not currently considered “curable”. This may change in the future, and as we are actively seeking out new treatment methods, we hope to be a crucial part of the evolution of mental health treatment methods for OCPD.
With this in mind, how much change can a person hope to make without the assistance of therapy? In short, a potentially considerable amount. However, this question is one that you will need to direct inward. How long have you let your OCPD symptoms go untreated? How aware are you of your traits and thought processes? How much work are you willing to put in? How much desire do you have to change? Do you have a support system? None of what you are about to embark on will be easy. We’ve mentioned weighting the pros and cons, and this is the point at which you should be expending all of your energy focused on the pros.
What we are talking about is regaining control over our own thoughts and actions. In turn, this can lead to better relationships, a healthier work-life balance, lower levels of depression and anxiety & more time to pursue passions over perceived duties. What’s required takes patience, determination and lots & lots of practice. We know that you can do this. You just have to WANT to do this!
Let’s start with a general rundown of all of the steps you can take without the help of anyone else:
THE BASICS…
Self-care
Exercising
Healthy eating
Routine physical exams
Mindfulness
Meditation
Quality sleep
Study | Read | Research
Journaling
Limiting time spent on social media
Support groups
This is not a list that is intended to be implemented all at once. In fact, it would be wise to consider only one or two of these at a time. It is much easier in life to build upon successes, so starting with the steps that feel the most attainable is a fantastic place to begin.
Where to start:
SELF-CARE
In order to have the mental capacity and energy to combat your naturally disordered and maladaptive tendencies, it pays to keep your stress levels low. Many of the following suggestions are intended to reduce stress, and in this way, you increase your capacity for making the desired changes. Your natural default thought processes come from a place of believing that you are, in fact, not disordered. We need to slowly evolve that belief in order to open ourselves up to a new way of thinking.
This page of healthy practices can assist in lowering life’s stresses by providing a more positive framework in which to view ourselves and the world. We are unlikely to succeed if we haven’t set ourselves up to believe in positive outcomes and the overall good of living without the assistance of an OCPD mind.
EXERCISE
It’s unlikely that this is the first time you've read about the connection between exercise and mental health, and there are many good reasons for this. The science is very settled on the brain-body connection. The stress hormones, endorphins & serotonin released during and after exercise are fantastic mood boosters and stress relievers. Your overall physical fitness plays a critical role in your ability to fight off infections, obtain restorative sleep, reduce pain & increase energy levels. A healthy body has the ability to sustain a healthy mind.
There is a cyclical nature to physical and mental health that we can use to our advantage. The more we exercise, the more we are likely to continue exercising. The benefits of exercise compound over time, and the mental shift created by a fitness routine can make incorporating this healthy habit easier and more enjoyable the more we do it. As a simplified example, we can look at depression levels. Depression can make exercise feel impossible. Yet, with even a minimal amount of exercise, we have the ability to improve our mood, thereby increasing the likelihood of making time for more fitness activities.
Biological benefits are far from the only utility to be gained from physical fitness. The focus required for physical exertion can work as an excellent distraction from day-to-day worries and negative thoughts. This will work even better if you seek out specific physical activities that you derive enjoyment from. Becoming physically fit can improve your ability to exercise self-control, and it can also improve your self-esteem. Whether big or small, any goal reached will further the self-belief that you can accomplish those things that you set your mind to. Exercise can work as an outlet for frustration and disappointment. You may also find new passions and allow yourself to make new friends. You can make a million arguments for exercise, and there is not one good argument against it that would stand up to scrutiny.
You will still need to consider the fact that you are approaching exercise as someone with OCPD. This means that there are a couple of minor concerns to keep in mind. It will be just as easy to become obsessive about exercise as it would be to become obsessive about anything else in your life. Whether that’s the frequency with which you workout, the number of exercises you do, or the weight loss goals you set. Rigidity should not be a part of this equation. Work at incorporating different forms of exercise, resist the urge to track everything you do & keep your goals small. If you are not walking away from a session of exercise feeling refreshed, reevaluate your approach. At this stage, the physical benefits should be a byproduct, not the focus. Exercise is challenging, and there will be times when your mental health gets the better of you. This is normal. The trick is to not allow this to impact your decision to pick up where you left off. Tomorrow is a new day.
HEALTHY EATING
What good is exercise without healthy eating? Well, in truth, it’s still a good thing. But here’s how you can vastly increase the benefits of exercise for your mental health.
First, let’s try practicing eating mindfully. Be aware of the things you put into your body. All foods are not created equal. Ultimately, your diet is going to be unique to you. We are not looking to provide a list of banned or recommended foods. Your own body will tell you what it is that’s required for optimal performance. There are some basics that are still at play, however.
Whole and unprocessed foods have been shown to do a good job with mood regulation, assisting with anxiety and depression & improving a person’s ability to focus. Hydration has been shown to help with mental flexibility and concentration. Sugar and processed foods are major sources of inflammation, and lowering inflammation is important in the pathophysiology of mental disorders. That said, nothing is going to be more important than listening to your own body. It can take time to find the right diet for you. A family doctor can be a good starting point, and the services of a nutritionist can be invaluable.
Scheduling an allergy test can also be a critical piece of the puzzle when it comes to setting yourself up for success. There are many different allergies that can wreak havoc on your stomach, and gut health is intrinsically linked to mood regulation. Your gastrointestinal system is home to billions of bacteria that influence the production of chemical substances that constantly carry messages from the gut to the brain. If you want any chance of receiving the positive messages that the good bacteria are trying to send you, it is vital to maintain good gut health.
PHYSICALS & CHECKUPS
Now the aforementioned steps are without a doubt an excellent starting place on your journey of “self-help”. But without this step, you are essentially heading in blind. You should want to eliminate as many obstacles that lay in your path while giving yourself as many advantages as possible. This is where the medical field comes in. OCPD itself may not be directly influenced by biology (or maybe it is), but there are many other mental health challenges that certainly are. Having a deeper understanding of your starting point will give you additional tools with which to combat your maladaptive natural tendencies. There is no shortage of medical conditions that can influence levels of depression and anxiety, and both of those mental states can easily exacerbate any other mental conditions you are facing.
Also, poor mental health can have serious negative effects on a person’s physical health. High blood pressure, diabetes, heart disease, stroke, chronic pain, muscle tension, migraines & weight gain can all be directly correlated to issues with depression and anxiety. In fact, it would probably be faster to list out the areas of physical health that aren’t impacted by mental health. Regular health checkups are a highly recommended way to stay on top of things. Talk to your doctor about how your current physical condition relates to your mental health. In turn, your doctor will be able to make recommendations on how you can take better care of your body, and you will vastly increase the odds of finding serious health concerns while they are still manageable.
MINDFULNESS & MEDITATION
It’s not uncommon for people to use mindfulness and meditation interchangeably; however, that would be doing each of them a disservice. They are distinct practices, and each one offers its own set of benefits. For those with OCPD, mindfulness and meditation can begin to open up brand new ways of thinking, of viewing the world, of communicating with others & of putting thoughts into action. Mindfulness can be viewed as thinking about one’s own thoughts, while meditation can be looked at as working towards concentrating on a singular focal point.
Around the world, there is no singularly agreed-upon definition of meditation. Indeed, even mindfulness has its own interpretations. For that reason, we will look at these two concepts broadly. It will be important for you to explore the different ways you can approach these practices and to find the meaning that makes the most sense for you.
MINDFULNESS
Practicing mindfulness could be compared to a therapist’s session, except that in this instance, you are both the therapist and the patient. You’re entering a space in which you can explore your innermost thoughts from the vantage point of a neutral and non-judgmental third party. You’re also creating a space in which to be fully present. During the practice of mindfulness, you’ll be combining all of your senses into a fully experiential thought. What you can see, hear, feel, taste & smell will all contribute to grounding you in the moment. You will be fully present within your thoughts, without the burden of guilt or context, and without having to evaluate your feelings.
It is not uncommon for people with OCPD to push aside emotion or to ignore their feelings completely. This is not what you will be doing here. In mindfulness, you will be acknowledging your emotions. You will be asking yourself specifically what you are thinking. We are trying to peel back the layers of the onion. In order to get to each new level, it is important that we do not pass judgment on the feelings that bubble up. It would not be unusual for that first layer to be filled with anger and frustration. And for someone with OCPD, an “upset” or “annoyed” label can quite often cover up deeper feelings of disappointment, sadness, loss, rage, guilt, loneliness, resentment & helplessness.
When practicing mindfulness, it can be helpful to create a list of questions to ask yourself. Try to identify body sensations. Try to identify the things in your environment that are reducing stress. Take notice of your energy and concentration levels. The goal with all of this is to reduce ruminations, lower stress levels, identify (mental) pain points, increase cognitive flexibility, modulate fear responses & lower emotional reactivity.
MEDITATION
When you think of meditation, what comes to mind? Yoga? A guru sitting high atop a temple in the Himalayan mountains? Sitting cross-legged in silence, dressed all in white? Or perhaps you even think of the Western hippie culture of the 1960s? For some, it may have religious connotations, and for others, it’s a New Age relaxation technique for the corporate world. And all of those are right, and none of them are right. As with mindfulness, meditation is going to be what you make of it. It’s one of the most highly adaptable practices for mental health and clarity.
At the start of your meditation journey, patience will be your biggest asset. For those with OCPD, meditation in its earliest stages can be a frustrating endeavor. Acknowledging and letting go of intrusive thoughts is something that will require lots of practice. You will hear that there is no wrong way to approach meditation, and this is true. However, you may feel at times that quieting your mind is a fruitless endeavor. Your default state of mind is busy and active. Do not overwhelm yourself with thoughts of failure. Limit the amount of time you set aside for meditation. Over time, your mind will gradually calm itself. For some, guided meditation is the way to go, and for others, you may want no external stimuli at all. Be open to trying different forms of meditation. In time, you will find the right form of meditative practice, and eventually you will reap the benefits.
SLEEP
While we sleep, our mind goes through four individual stages, with each stage offering its own set of benefits to our body and brain. Quality sleep aids in clarity of thought, increased capacities for learning and memory & better overall mental health. REM sleep has profound effects on emotional and mental health. It is while we sleep that we do some of our most important processing of emotional information.
On the other side of the coin, a lack of quality sleep can harm both our physical and mental health. Without enough sleep, it can be very difficult to regulate mood and emotional reactivity. In addition, the energy reserves required for making the types of changes you’d like to make will not be there when you need them. If you find it difficult to fall asleep or stay asleep, it may be prudent to speak to your family doctor. It’s also important to note that the suggestions found in this article will work in congruence with each other. This means that for each positive change you implement, you will find that other healthy practices do not require quite as much effort.
JOURNALING
You may be reading this article knowing full well that you’d like to better manage the symptoms and traits of OCPD. That said, do you know specifically what it is that you’d like to change about yourself? It is not uncommon with OCPD to feel the need for change but to lack the self-awareness to identify what it is exactly that you’d like to change. This is where journaling can be a very useful tool.
If there is any one suggestion on this page that truly has no right or wrong way to put into practice, journaling would be it. You can keep track of your mood. You can write down your observations. You can formulate conversations you’d like to have with others. You can jot down those things that frustrate you during your day. And probably most beneficially, you can note the things about yourself that seem to be maladaptive and lend themselves to a lower quality of life. The goal here is self-education. You are giving yourself an outlet to learn about how you think and how you perceive yourself and the world around you. An additional benefit is that it helps you prioritize problems, fears, and concerns.
You not only benefit from journaling yourself, but there are benefits to having others around you journal as well. If part of your motivation to change is the relationship you have with loved ones, encouraging them to jot down observations can be a useful tool. They are not under any obligation to do this, of course, but if they’re in agreement, it can be very constructive. Having them share their perceptions and observations of you in a loving and non-confrontational manner can be a gentle way to challenge your preconceptions and behaviors.
STUDY | READ | RESEARCH
Here’s a bit of good news: You are already taking this step right now. Those with OCPD have a built-in superpower when it comes to working on themselves. This superpower is the desire to self-educate to a level not generally sought after by non-OCPD people. As a secondary bit of good news, you are in the right place if you are looking to further educate yourself on Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder (Anankastic Personality Disorder).
Knowing what you’re up against will assist in the tenacity that will be required to take all of the remaining steps. You will deepen the empathy you have for others around you. You will find more patience and compassion for yourself as you begin to understand how you differ from those around you. The more you learn, the closer you are to reaching your goals. OCPD.org is a great starting place, but please visit our resources page for links to additional OCPD research.
SOCIAL MEDIA
What role do technology and social media play in your life? For those with OCPD, it can be all too easy to stay glued to your smart phones and computers in an attempt to stay on top of every area of your life. Leaving work at work can feel impossible. You may also have your own set of rules for how you communicate with others and how you expect them to communicate in return. It’s highly unlikely that you’ve managed to find a healthy balance when it comes to the technology we now have available at our fingertips.
This part of the article is not an added attack on those with OCPD. Most people struggle with this area of life. However, this article is intended to help you and others with OCPD, so put your phone down. Social media has been proven time and time again to be detrimental to mental health. In theory, it may seem beneficial to have access to friends and loved ones at all times, but we are not evolved enough as a species to know what to do with this information. You are free to use social media as much or as little as you want to, but understand that when it comes to emotional regulation, there is no worse place to spend your time.
By this point, most societies have developed an almost Pavlovian response to notifications. Those with OCPD are even more sensitive to these notifications, and are more likely to utilize notifications for all aspects of life. Email notifications, text notifications, calendar reminders, health notifications, to-do lists, social media notifications & the list goes on and on. Let’s start by reducing the number of times our tech pings us throughout the day. We need to practice living in the moment, and these beeps, buzzes & flashes are doing everything in their power to stop us. You will notice over time the calming effects of being left alone.
SUPPORT GROUPS
Again you find yourself in the right place. It probably goes without saying that the support of others can go a long way in helping us to not feel alone. OCPD can be isolating, so it’s in your best interest to provide yourself with a healthy social outlet. Unlike traditional therapy, there are no costs associated with attending a support group. You will be provided with an environment in which you can talk openly and honestly about your feelings with a group of like-minded peers. You may find the feedback you receive to be indispensable. If this is an option you’d like to investigate further, please read about the support group offered through OCPD.org.
ADVANCED STEPS
Everything on this page up to this point is information that would benefit anyone struggling with mental health issues. And any one of these suggestions would be a great place to start. This page exists though to help those with OCPD specifically. With that said, the following paragraphs contain tips for those looking to challenge themselves even further and for those wanting to target their OCPD symptoms in particular. As stated at the outset, not everyone will have access to professional help. For those looking to put in the work on their own, or for those looking to supplement the help that they are already receiving, we offer the following information.
One thing that those with OCPD will have a tendency to do is to reason their way through their disorder. This might lead to healthy discoveries, but it may also lead to time wasted. Be mindful to fully investigate the practices you intend to test out. For example, there is evidence that for those with OCD, exposure therapy can offer benefits. But those same benefits do not seem to apply to patients with OCPD. If you want to make forward progress, start with research based practices.
PERFECTIONISM
Starting with a major component of OCPD, perfectionism can be something we challenge ourselves to overcome. Perfectionist thinking can lead to obsessive behaviors, procrastination, poor time management, a lack of enjoyment in projects & friction with others. When engaged in work and play, shift the goal away from perfection to “good enough”. One way this can be accomplished is by giving yourself a set amount of time to accomplish a goal and then not allowing yourself to extend that time limit. Whatever you accomplish within this time limit will have to be “good enough”.
Work towards finding enjoyment in the moment. Focus on the joy in “doing” and not the satisfaction of “completing”. The more you try to multitask, the less likely you are to see the forest for the trees. Pay attention to how the work makes you feel. Stay in the moment. Take breaks and practice showing yourself compassion. Keep in mind that you control much less than you think you do. Do not try to compete with external forces. Work within your limited field of control, and do not push so hard when you meet resistance.
Provide plenty of breathing room in your schedule. Give yourself downtime and time to reflect. Schedule time to do nothing. People with OCPD can often view doing nothing as unproductive. Even if doing nothing was unproductive, it would still have its own set of benefits. But doing “nothing” is not unproductive. We have already outlined all of the physical and mental benefits that come from taking good care of yourself, and this includes doing nothing. You are not a machine. It is in your best interest to take regular time-outs to give yourself the best chances at success in all areas of your life. In addition, creating schedules with ample padding will go a long way toward reducing your overall stress.
BLACK & WHITE THINKING
Another major component of OCPD is rigidity. Black-and-white thinking is pervasive among those with this disorder. This aspect of OCPD can have unwanted consequences in how we treat ourselves, and it can have truly detrimental consequences in our relationships with others. Holding ourselves to unrealistic standards can lead to a lifetime of disappointment and frustration. Holding others to your unreasonable standards can be poison to your interpersonal relationships.
The opposite of rigidity is flexibility. With this knowledge, you can determine the direction in which to move. Flexibility is what you need to put into practice. Spontaneity, compromise & empathy are the goals you should be setting for yourself. When living a life according to a hardened set of internal rules, choice becomes something unfamiliar. You may feel as though you make choices all the time and that you have free will, but all evidence points to the opposite. Facts and logic may seem obvious, but challenge the thought that you are always right. Allow others to make choices for you that go against your better judgment. Please do this responsibly with decisions that have low stakes to start with. But if an outcome truly doesn’t matter, why put up such a fight? Should you go to the beach today, or should you go to the mountains? Roll the dice. You need to start somewhere.
Not every decision is of equal value. Opinions are allowed to be rooted in fiction. Not every truth is a fact. The world is much more nuanced and complex than you could ever hope to contain in your limited worldview. Your rigidity is embedded in your unconscious need to retain control over all aspects of your life. Sometimes this extends to the lives of others as well. Letting go of that control can be terrifying. In fact, for those with OCPD, it can be the most fear-inducing aspect of changing how you move through life. Understanding where the rigidity comes from is an important first step in facing it head-on.
WHAT ELSE?
Consider that the thoughts you cling on to the tightest are most likely the thoughts that are stopping you from achieving all of the things you desire in life. Letting go of anger and resentment will be a big component of the work that you do. Learning to empathize with others will go a long way toward repairing and maintaining relationships that are important to you. Continue to learn about your personality disorder and stay informed when it comes to the latest research. And when you have questions, do not be afraid to ask for help. We hope that this article has been informative, and we would encourage you to continue exploring the rest of what our Foundation has to offer.
Medically Reviewed by Gary Trosclair, DMA, LCSW on March 01, 2024 | Written by Darryl Rossignol